Identifying and knowing how to deal with them is key to your mental health.
Working with someone who negatively impacts your emotional well-being is a common experience. We’ve all tried coping strategies like venting to friends, withdrawing from office social life, or gossiping. However, understanding the motivations behind difficult colleagues’ behaviors can empower you to protect your energy more effectively.
Discover Your Office Jerk
Find out what type of difficult colleague you have with this quiz from Tessa West, author of “Jerks at Work.”
1. The Kiss-Up/Kick-Downer
These individuals rise to the top by any means necessary, often at others’ expense. They are favorites of bosses due to their high performance.
Behaviors to Watch For:
- Undermining you in front of superiors with subtle comments.
- Engaging in small acts of sabotage during one-on-one interactions.
- Offering unsolicited help to overwhelmed bosses to gain favor.
Strategies:
- Build a network of allies who can provide a reality check.
- Approach your boss with detailed, behavior-focused reports.
- If you’re in charge, establish fair rules to reduce favoritism.
2. The Gaslighter
Gaslighters are the most toxic, aiming to deceive and isolate their victims.
Behaviors to Watch For:
- Making you feel special with secretive projects.
- Undermining your self-worth with manipulative comments.
- Starting with minor lies to build up to major deceptions.
Strategies:
- Document everything that feels off.
- Rebuild your social network gradually.
- Find a well-connected ally to help address the issue with higher-ups.
3. The Credit Stealer
These colleagues appear friendly but will take credit for your ideas.
Behaviors to Watch For:
- Taking credit in ambiguous situations like group meetings.
- Pretending to be trustworthy allies or mentees.
- Sometimes unintentionally overestimating their contributions.
Strategies:
- Become a go-to advisor for your boss.
- Ensure the right people get recognized in meetings.
- Clearly define roles and responsibilities before starting projects.
4. The Bulldozer
Bulldozers are powerful, well-connected, and assertive employees who dominate to get what they want.
Behaviors to Watch For:
- Taking control early in meetings.
- Becoming indispensable due to their specialized knowledge.
- Intimidating vulnerable bosses.
Strategies:
- Speak up early and concisely in meetings.
- Inform your boss using the “loss frame” to highlight missing perspectives.
- Encourage the bulldozer to help others contribute.
5. The Micromanager
Micromanagers overwhelm you with demands, often stifling productivity.
Behaviors to Watch For:
- Imposing unrealistic timelines.
- Assigning trivial tasks to keep you occupied.
- Alternating between excessive communication and complete absence.
Strategies:
- Discuss big-picture goals to shift their focus.
- Set clear expectations for both big and small tasks.
- Hold short, frequent meetings to manage their feedback.
6. The Neglectful Boss
Neglectful bosses oscillate between ignoring you and exerting control to manage their anxiety.
Behaviors to Watch For:
- Ignoring you until the last minute.
- Lacking understanding of your daily tasks.
- Being unavailable when you need them most.
Strategies:
- Request short meetings to address immediate needs.
- Offer to take on small tasks to free up their time.
- Seek guidance from other experts when necessary.
7. The Free Rider
Free riders contribute little but reap the rewards.
Behaviors to Watch For:
- Taking on low-effort but visible tasks.
- Working in teams where individual contributions are hard to track.
- Slacking off when the boss is not around.
Strategies:
- Implement regular fairness checks in your workflow.
- Avoid confrontations; instead, emphasize the value of their engagement.
- Set boundaries to prevent them from taking undue credit.
About the Author of the book: Tessa West, a social psychologist and professor at NYU, specializes in workplace conflict resolution. Her book, “Jerks at Work: Toxic Coworkers and What to Do About Them,” offers practical advice for dealing with difficult colleagues. Follow Tessa on Twitter @TessaWestNYU.
