Psychologist Albert Mehrabian’s rule highlights that in life, the key is knowing how to say things, both in relationships and in work negotiations.
“Fate doesn’t hang on a wrong or right choice. Fortune depends on the tone of your voice”, said Divine Comedy singer and composer Neil Hannon, and he was certainty right.
Maybe he was referring to the 7-38-55 rule by psychologist Albert Mehrabian, who said: “It’s not what you say, but how you say it”.
Dr. Mehrabian,was a professor at the University of California, Los Angeles (UCLA), where he conducted numerous pioneering studies in nonverbal communication.
He studied the influence of gestures, facial expressions, and tone of voice on the perception and understanding of messages. His books ‘Silent Messages’ and ‘Nonverbal Communication’ have become references and, since their publication in the 1970s, have been studied and cited over the years. His principle is striking and hides a truth that, more than 50 years later, remains relevant: it is key when we talk about emotional intelligence. Moreover, correctly understanding the 7-38-55 rule can help us deal with everyday situations.
What the 7-38-55 rule consists of
The essence of Mehrabian’s rule is that it pertains only to the communication of feelings, not factual content, and it’s relevant mainly when signals are conflicting. The good news is that this covers many significant life situations.
Wondering if your girlfriend is upset despite her saying she’s fine? The 7-38-55 rule can help. Unsure if you made a meaningful connection at that networking event? Same principle applies. Uncertain if your employees are truly on board with a new initiative? Look to this rule for guidance.
Though the 7-38-55 rule may be overused, it’s invaluable for highlighting the importance of nonverbal cues in understanding intent and emotions. When unsure, prioritize tone of voice and body language over words.
It’s also helpful for conveying your own emotions effectively. While words are important, they’re not the only factor. If your words conflict with your tone or body language, people will trust what they see over what they hear. This is a crucial reminder for leaders trying to inspire while appearing disengaged, or for those attempting to handle sensitive issues through email or Zoom.
Accurately reading others’ emotions and clearly expressing your own is vital for emotional intelligence. The 7-38-55 rule serves as a useful reminder that, to enhance these skills, how something is said is just as important as what is said.